like, for this morning for example- I realised how incredibly *behind* I am on my practical for piano, and not to mention a lesson on Thursdays (let me tell you, private lessons are GREAT motivators) on which if I don't prepare for will be a rather large waste of $45 dollars- decided to actually get in some practice on my Shubert sonata of which will be the 'decider' of all my 4 peices as to wheather I will fail or pass A mus (1 in 3 students fail).
I literally, suck at this peice, at the moment- compared to the other 2 I've started (both mediocre.. but its still early days) but for some reason, this morning, I felt I was beginning to actually *get* it.
Its a really empowering peice, with quiet bits and loud bits all mingling together to form some pretty powerful stuff (geeze that makes NO sense... how did I get through HSC music aural exams again?! ... <- biggest bullshit exam alive... *eh hum* )
and in that moment I was playing this one broken chord (arpeggio. so shoot me I use baby language) on the 4th page-- I felt like I could do anything -
Like I had the potential to ace higher chem ... like I could take on the GAMstat and somehow ace that too ...
Like Id get a niiiiiiiiice GPA at the end of my first year and that it would resonate throughout the future 2/3 years....
Yet when I stopped playing, and thought of the large pile of text books on my desk, and te barely opened biology text (which is about the size of a birthday cake box holding a cake for 20 people) all hope just gushes away and I'm left all alone... wondering where the feelings of success and happiness went ...
In psych today, they were talking about personality traits and what different psychologists over the past couple of centuries have theorised about different types of people - some psychologists went all hard core and labeled everyone whilst one believed that no two people were different.
In one example, the lecturer (who is deaf apparently, but if she never told you - you'd never tell by just going to her lectures alone, which makes it mean when the room is pretty noisy ...) asked as to think of words to describe ourselves-- and said that the first 3 to 10 words that we thought of were our 'main' or central characteristics (according to one of the psychologists she was discussing).
The only word at that moment that I could think of was competitiveness...
On the Library lawn today, people from Med revue (in which lots of CSE [computer science and engineering] revue people were also dressed as Med. revue people which kinda ~< me since I'm in CSE revue... despite not being in their faculty >< ) were shaving their heads for $200 bucks that would go towards the childrens hospital <- yes even girls were shaving their heads including one asian girl that had that silky asian hair (shoulder length)done. I bet she was a med. student.
If I got into med, I think I'd shave my head.
One guy, (who had a fro and got his shaved) said if someone donated $50 bucks, he'd let some guy from the revue KICK him in the BALLS.
And it did happen, and I watched it and it was ;o much ...
These are just some of the few things that happens around the UNSW campus on a regular basis ;) <- I dont think you'd find it at UTS - their campus is just like an office block right in the center of the city, which would make it kinda impossible for an event to not only gather a large amount of people in their tiny cramped space but also kinda dirty if they did it in the food court or something.
Two words. Nice words. Words which mean to mean 'gee I really wish I went there'. According to my cousin who had a worse time than myself choosing between USNW and U syd (she got such a nice UAI she had the pick of the crop, whilst I had to kinda hope that the numbers wouldnt jump for CSP [poor or smart students]... and they did... but in some respects I'm leaning why UNSW is better than U syd for med. sci in particular... although I can't walk past the faculty of med. without feeling pretty crappy ...) ... in Australia ... UNSW is considered to be pretty hot property ... [yes such knowledge makes me feel good about myself ... ]
I have to go into the faculty of med building today (my ramblings won't stop dammin it!) Apparently B. med sci students arent from ANY particular faculty, meaning that we can't go to the science people for advice really ... We have to go to the med. faculty people --> but really we're definatly not med. students so ...
Which they have in America and not in Australia, is the equivelent to (according to my international school buddy) B. med sci or a B science (med sci) <- (the second of which I think is retarded... a double wannabe .... I think being one wannabe is enough already!) that basically pre med in the US is like an undergrad degree from which students do MCAT and try and get into grad. med <- US doesnt have undergrad med... we do have it here : short cuts about 1 year, but only select places have it ...
Here we have B. med sci or B science (med sci.) [which is supposed to be easier to get into than med. sci. but I wouldn't have a clue... Only U syd rejected my UAI for a CSP place in med. sci. damminit] then we have GAMSTAT (which stands for something that means basically, graduate medicine admissions test)
One of those select places that has undergrad med would be known as
The girl sitting next to me in chem today asked if the stuff that undergrad med people at Newcastle (other than UNSW the only other place in NSW that has undergrad med is Newcastle) would be doing EASIER chem stuff that we 'regular' science people .. (although let me tell you, med sci isnt regular ;) are doing.
That elected some weird looks from me and the girl on her other side whose comment was "you want to go to medicine because you think it would be EASIER than adv. sci?!" -- question girl apparently had the opportunity to go to med (not med sci. but MED undergrad) at Newcastle and turned her back on it ... didn't get to the interview stage, but knew she could have if she really went for it.
I could have killed to be in her place at that moment.
Only thing is I have this STUPID thing called morals...
* eh hum *
Shoko (international school friend) likes the carreres adviser for med. students (who is incidentaly the adviser for B. med sci. students ) and this is the ONLY reason (that and I want to ask a bunch of questions about courses and UMAT and GAMSTAT chances etc. ) that I will ever go into the faculty of med. building and that is the only reason alone -- that and so I can see if he looks as old as 35 sounds (to an 18 yr old, 35 for a bf. is old... )
Im obviously too childish for the med. faculty.
Like it says on the back of the society of medical science students ; "we could do medicine if we wanted to ..."
If someone offered me 200 bucks to walk into the faculty of med. wearing the med. sci. soc shirt ... I don't know if I would take it (hair up so you could see the words at the back of the shirt)
(Im NOT buying that shirt for $12)
What brings me comfort is that he [the advisor guy] was an arts student.
No offence to arts students... [this is where the opinionated side of me comes out, trait #2 opinionated...] but where exactly is arts going to take you?! [apparently everywhere... which would never satisfy my need for comfort and knowing pretty much exactly where I'll most likely be for the next 3 years or so.]
I don't know how he can work in that particular building ...
(and thus the reason why I droped the idea of B. sci B. arts at what is supposedly ivy legue here in Aust - U syd -- but if UNSW is too .. then whats the damn. difference ? )
Hum. Ive really ranted and raved .. and I don't know if anyone, outside say that of myself would have followed the above [ or could be bothered to read it *scratches head*] to even a 80% accuracy level.. maybe someone who is in the same system we have here in Aust... ~< who also is thinking about med. (and if they are not as nuttily idiotic as I am probably would have closed the screen by now and smiled at their chances at getting in if I am their only competition. ....